Grief is one of those things we often don’t know how to cope with because the weight of the sadness can be overwhelming and feels impossible to shift. We grieve all that we have loved and no longer have, and this can be anything from the death of a loved one or a pet, to the loss of a childhood home or much-loved garden, to the perception of a missed opportunity or an unlived life. Grief is a deeply personal journey for each individual and as much as we would like to, we cannot wish it away, minimise it, ignore it or suppress it. It is not something we ‘get over’ and there is no end point to be reached. Grief is a bridge that links the ‘what was’ to an unfamiliar newness of ‘what is now’ and leads us along a non–linear journey into the unknown.

What we do know is that grief and loss in both adults and children comes with a range of thoughts and emotions that change not only day-by-day but moment-to-moment – a pendulum of sadness, shock, relief, anger, denial, numbness, guilt, blame, resentment, fear, exhaustion and calm.

We must shine a light on the importance of having open conversations about death and dying with each other and with our children so that feelings are not internalised, causing emotional shutdown, anxiety, and unimaginable sadness in the future.

As a colleague said to me recently ‘grief is just love that refuses to give up.’

Kerry Hulbert, School Counsellor